16 October 2008

Speaking of

Qwanty and social networking sites. I told her a long time ago that I would write on the following subject. Maybe now is the time.

So, there were these two guys that I knew growing up--Stace and Lance. They were older guys (probably 5 years older) who lived in the neighborhood. They were enough older than me that I never really had much to do with them, although I think that they stole money from me the one time that I had a lemonade stand with my 1st brother (the one who Qwanty likes to call "Rimmy"). Anyway, L & S were the kind of neighborhood guys who remained friends all the way through high school. And they were seniors when I was a freshman. This was the first time since elementary school that I was anywhere where I'd see them on a regular basis.

Coincidentally, freshman year is when I met Qwanty, who ended up having a crush on Stace.* Now, don't hold this against her. I think that we had a silent pact in high school to split all the guys we knew down the middle so that between the two of us we had crushes on most of the male population of CHS.** I did think that this particular crush was ridiculous though. And you will soon see why.

You may be thinking that this is just a nostalgic post, but I'm giving you background so that you can understand why this is particularly silly.

Here's the deal. A few months ago, while hoping that a very old crush of mine could be found on Facebook (no such luck!), I came across Stace's Facebook page. And curiosity dictated that I check out a website dedicated to this guy and his apparent wife. I find this website shocking. I mean, G-- knows that I've got enough internet presence to not throw stones, but, really? They have their own swag? I can order a tank top with a picture of Stace as a child with the word "player" written across it? I can contact Heidi about her semi-precious stone jewelry? Or I can book Stace to DJ at my next blowout? I can check out their latest theme party and/or vaca pictures?

I don't even know what to say about this kind of bizarre self-promotion. I mean, we probably could have predicted something like this. This website seems completely in keeping with his personality. Here' s the problem. Thirty years ago, a guy like Stace would have been the type to invite people over to his house to have dinner, look at 400 slides of his last cruise to Greece, and then maybe listen to a pitch for the latest multi-level marketing scheme in which he was involved. Now this personality can bring his special kind of self-absorption to the whole world via the internets.

Listen, I'll continue to write pointless, self-indulgent, and sometimes snarky posts--but I promise you--dear readers--no coffee mugs with pictures of a young KRD with the word "princess" underneath.

*She also, and for the life of me I can't remember why she did this, drew a picture of Lance at one point. It was amazing, because it looked exactly like him, but also exactly like Mozart at the same time. It was a picture of Mance, or Lozart. I still have it in my dusty, dusty archives.

**I think that we only overlapped once. On Chris Clark, of all people. But I've written about that before.


qwanty said...

Wow. I forgot about that website. WOW. There's just so much to say about that. In fact, I think I might say some of it in an anonymous email to Stace. SOMEONE HAS TO. Yes. That will be an excellent use of my time!

By the way, I have posted a little something that I think you'll appreciate.

fsk said...

I would seriously consider buying one of those mugs.

qwanty said...

And I would seriously consider selling you one of those mugs. I wonder if KRD would mind if I scoop her on her own merch? I do custom orders.

James said...

That website has gotten more hits since you've linked it than it probably has since they created it. Do you suppose they wear mirror masks when they fuck? In fact, maybe they should post films of them doing it. Seems like the natural progression.

It won't bother me if you delete that comment, by the way! Still loves you!

qwanty said...