14 June 2010

My Hiatus Hole

So, a few posts ago, OMD mentioned something about my "hiatus hole," by which he meant the hole that I appeared to have climbed into (fallen into?) that caused a protracted hiatus from this little labor of love.

What is funny about that turn of phrase is that I have a hiatus hole (literally, I'm not even kidding), which sort of caused me to fall into that other hiatus hole. I will explain:

About a year ago I contracted a pretty nasty stomach virus, thanks to my lovely, but continuously contagious, niece and nephew. (Who, by the way, are dodging grizzlies as we speak. But I'll save that for another post.) I never recovered fully from it. After a while, probably too long a while, I started looking for an explanation. For a long time I thought I had an ulcer. And I went around for several months treating myself for that. It went ok, except that occasionally I would have bouts of uncontrolled vomiting, which was not so ok. Then, over spring break, I had a really bad bout (no details--I know you don't want them) and I started going to doctors.

Sparing you all the doctors visits and tests, I will just fast forward to what I know now. I have a series of weird anatomical defects--one of them being a hole in my hiatus--that require very fancy and expensive surgery. (My nurse today told me that I'm receiving the "gold standard" treatment.) In short, I am going to have my stomach pulled down and into proper position (it has become a bit jostled). It is also going to get a little nip and tuck so that it will become sort of mini-stomach, which will serve me just fine. Although it is going to seem like I eat like a bird, only rather more often than I've been accustomed. THEN they will stitch up my hiatus hole, and attach some webbing--made of biological material, how cool and sci-fi does that sound?--over (around?) my diaphragm, in hopes that my diaphragm will get a little stronger and more resistant to tearing.

It all sounds worse, maybe, than it is. Because I have a super-star surgeon and he's going to do it all through a couple of tiny holes. And I have been promised that, although I will feel super, super crappy for a week, I will be able to work two weeks after the surgery. Amazing, huh? All of this will result in a much more structurally sound me! ('Though a me that has to give up beer and all carbonated bevies in the future. This is sad, certainly. But they aren't taking away my coffee and I get to live and stop vomiting all the time. One does not get something for nothing.)

The point of all this is: I have not felt well in a long, long time. I've managed to keep working, but it has been hard to keep up other things that take effort. Because I'm tired a lot. And a little undernourished a lot. And, more recently, I've been seeing doctors a lot. But it is all starting to calm down a little, and I've been feeling very good. And one of the first things that happened was that I got back to you all (however many of you there are), and that should make you feel good too.

Thanks for checking back and finding me again.


Old Man Duggan said...

Good to hear that you'll be well (although I didn't know you weren't to begin with) and potentially blogging again.

You know, if you'd never left ATX, this never would have happened. Maybe.

qwanty said...

a) You have been FEELING POORLY and SICK and ILL and you have not told me so I could finally send you that tiny sock monkey? YOU BASTARD.

2) I'm glad you're getting your hole fixed.

3) OMD mentioned your hiatus hole and you have AN ACTUAL HOLE IN YOUR ACTUAL HIATUS? You guys need to take this shit on the road.

4) My word verification is "dorke".

James said...

I love you, KRD! It's amazing you'll be up and around in two weeks!

I will be in Portland in about a month, so I still expect to see you quite a bit. I won't even bring any PBRs because I wouldn't want to tempt you.

The Karate Kid got good reviews and had a really great opening weekend, making back its entire budget plus 15 million the first weekend. My finger is officially off the pulse of America. In fact, I'm going to prematurely pronounce America dead.

Carmen said...

So I looked up your hiatus hole (hehe) and I feel smarter just knowing about something that I had never heard of before. It's really interesting how the human body does strange things that are not always the best for your overall health. I'm glad that it's something that can be fixed. The field I work in, a lot of the time unfixable becomes the norm. I'm happy that you are going to be all right. Live all your days like they are your last and the memories that you collect will be kept in your heart for eternity.

Anonymous said...

* for a few years, or until you get dementia..

*I*, read your blog. <3

KRD said...

Oh, Anon! Why must you tease me like that?! You have to know that I am dying to know who thou art.

Thank you, the rest of you, for the nice (kind of nice?) messages. I will have some awesome new insides soon, and maybe some (perfectly legal, prescribed) drug-induced Make Ready posts will show up as well.

(Hey Qwanty--you can still send the sock monkey. You gots to know that I would love it! What happened to you in Eugene anyway--I tried to make contact . . . )